I open up my computer at lunch, after posting this morning about how I lost my shit in front of my kids, and there she is: Glennon to the rescue. You guys know about Glennon Melton, right? She’s the kind, beautiful megamind behind Momastery, and the author of Carry On, Warrior, which needs to be on every mother’s bookshelf.
This was her message for me this morning. I’m passing it along to you because I’m generous like that. You’re welcome.
You guys- here’s my hunch: we think we’re somehow being good parents if we beat ourselves up for every mistake. As if guilt and hemming and hawing and self doubt = LOVE. But one of the many problems with this belief is that this critical voice we use to berate ourselves becomes our kids’ internal voice, too. They learn that the way to love people is: Try to be perfect for them and then when you’re not – Make yourself miserable in their honor. BOOOOOO. Bad plan! Horrible plan! Not love! What if we every single time something went wrong- we did what Kristy did? What if we just GOT OVER IT? Got funny about it? What if we lived in a constant state of radical, relentless forgiveness? (Grace)
Might our kids end up with a kinder, gentler, funnier, less neurotic inner voice? Might we?
Would our kids learn that actually, love is just showing up as you are, trying, making mistakes, and then trying again? Would we?
Make sure you click that link right there to read the rest of her post. It’s amazing. And follow her while you’re there – she’ll never lead you astray.
Follow me too, while you’re at it. I might lead you astray, but if we get lost, at least I always bring wine.