Things have been a little quiet on the blog lately. I’d like to say that’s because so many big and loud and important things have been going on here under our big top. Like maybe I’ve been busy busting my butt losing thirty pounds, or organizing our disastrous closets for some sort of big bloggy reveal, or founding a community arts organization for underserved kids.
Nope.
The truth is, a lot of mid-sized, quiet, and terrifying things have been blowing around here, under our tent. I’ve spent the last couple weeks curled up in a chair with a cup of coffee trying to figure out how to make them funny and blog-worthy.
I got nothing.
I think I’m going to put up some fliers.
So, I’ve got a conundrum. Furthermore, I think it’s a conundrum many of us would-be truth-tellers face: It’s fairly easy to be honest and brave and opinionated if you can wrap it all up in a pretty little package of self-depricating humor. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we are telling the truth, because, after all, we’re sharing all that embarrassing stuff – that stuff we’re supposed to be ashamed of: our crappy finances, our dirty houses, our swearing children. We’re like the Anti-Pinterest.
The Anti-Pinterest Board
God knows, looking at someone else’s mess and saying, “Me too! Me too!” and laughing our butts off together feels really good. But sometimes, what we are traveling through is just inherently NOT FUNNY. Sometimes it’s not something you can crack a joke about at brunch or on the playground, or even (gasp) on your blog. So you’re left with two choices: Shut up or Show up.
I’ve been shutting up. But it feels like cheating. After all, sneaking around under the invisibility cloak of snark and humor is not, technically, walking through life unarmed. And that’s what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to be open and aware and vulnerable and kind and compassionate, and I’m trying to teach my kids to be that way too, because that’s how we make this big, messy, beautiful world a better place.
So, I’m going to try showing up. I’m going to try showing up even though I’m totally jacked up. I’m going to show up and talk about being scared and uncertain and lonely and isolated and jealous and totally in love with my life and totally terrified of my life. And hopefully we’ll have a bunch of those “Me too! Me too!” moments. And that will feel really good even if we’re crying instead of laughing.
Surely, someday very soon, my sense of humor will show up too. But when that bitch gets back, she will be only my traveling companion and not my chaperone.
Amanda Conley
Me too!
Susan Hudson McBride
Actually, the authentic, real you, humorous Jen is never far away. I see her here. Funny is sometimes our cloak of belonging when it’s hard to reckon with the absurd any other way. I’m glad you’ve chosen to show up no matter what. Funny or not, it’s good to have you around.
Laura
The thing is, the unfunny stuff, or the stuff you may be able to find the funny in later, after some (lots of?) time has passed – it’s all real and relatable too.
(is that a word? relatable? doesn’t seem right though I guess it gets the point across.)
Jenny
I love you, Jen.
Jen
Holy crap. There you are paper goddess!
G. Michael Dominguez
Whaddaya mean? Something going on?
Jen
You’re a funny one Mr. Strong Man.
Joannie Bohn
I read everything and thoroughly enjoy it, but I don’t comment because who wants to hear from a 75 year old woman who survived 6 kids and lived to tell about it? Love you girl.
Joannie Bohn
Jen
I do! I do! Actually, I’m VERY curious about what it was like to raise a large family 40 years ago. I know you were in/near Milwaukee, which is Catholic territory, right? You probably weren’t the only large family in town… did you have friends who were also raising large families? What about the whole second marriage thing (I’m sorry, I can’t remember whether you were divorced or widowed, but I assume you spent some time as a single mom) did you have any friends who were in a similar position, or did you feel isolated?
Joannie, I actually think of you and your mothering experience often. You might be surprised….