My inner editor is horrified at all those exclamation marks; however, my inner cheerleader (she’s very small, she lives under my right pinky nail) is just delighted. Today, I am all about the cheerleader.
A few days ago I posted about what a thrill it is to help people, how grateful I feel for all the help we’ve received over the years, and how much I miss being in a position that makes it easy to help others. (See the original post here: Believe me, this will make your day) On a whim, I suggested a little matchmaking: you write to me with your desire to help or your desire for help, and I’ll match up need with need. I hit “publish” and immediately felt like I needed a drink. ‘Cause I was pretty sure one of two things was going to happen:
- Nothing. No one would respond, thereby proving that no one actually reads all this drivel, I’ve wasted my time and embarrassed myself, or…
- I’d get 100 emails in the first day asking for help buying a new iPhone, a Prada bag, or a million-dollar cure for a rare fatal disease.
But, um, no.
That’s not what’s happening at all, which just goes to show that my knee-jerk assessment of myself and the world might need just the tiniest bit of work.
So far I’ve gotten a bunch of emails (I’m reading them all, folks and I’ll respond, I promise, bear with me) from a bunch of people and the scales are tipped overwhelmingly in favor of those looking to BE of help. This.is.freaking.amazing. I open my email every morning like a little girl tearing through packages under the Christmas tree.
People are writing in, telling their own stories and asking for ways to feel more connected, more useful, more hopeful, and it’s as if the veil is being lifted and I’m beginning to see how very much alike we all are, even in drastically different circumstances. People are offering encouragement, art, services, and yes, even money. And I’m super excited to get started matching-making. I’ve got Fiddler all cued up on the iPod, ready to get down to business….
But I can’t do it yet. I’m waiting for the tipping point. I want more people to be able to be involved, and I need more people willing to ask for help. Y’all, asking for help is NOT selfish. It turns out that being open to receive is a GIFT to those who are looking to give.
And guess what? You don’t have to ask for help for yourself. You can ask on behalf of someone else. In fact, most of the people who’ve written to me have done just that. But if you could use a little lift, I’d consider it a personal favor if you’d let me know. Just email me at jen(at)jenwallworkdominguez(dot)com. (substitute symbols from words in parentheses) Generosity is a cycle and it can’t be offered if it can’t be accepted.
I won’t pester you about this anymore, I promise. We’ll be back to stories about how I suck at parenting soon enough. It’s just Facebook hates me. My posts don’t even show up in my HUSBAND’S feed. (Wait… maybe there’s something I need to know…) So I NEED YOUR HELP. Share, Share, Share. Tag, Tag, Tag. Tweet, Tweet, Tweet. I want as many folks as possible to be able to participate. We got a lot of lonely hearts out there looking for their match.
Kristine Kruczek Mains (KKMains)
Hi Jen~ I am beginning my journey for all the Cancer Thrivers. Yep, you read correctly. THRIVERS. I made it up, as far as I know. I have heard survivors, warriors, etc. But I want to shift our mindset and dispel the fear that cancer means just surviving, or worse yet, dying. In order to THRIVE during and beyond a cancer diagnosis, I created CANCER CAN Affirmations. I am holding those cards close to my chest until I get a publisher to copyright them. BUT… I do want to share this:
I truly believe that the “growth mindset” and possibility of “YET” allowed me to THRIVE beyond cancer, not just survive. When people asked if the cancer was gone, “It will be, but not yet.” The possibility that I would get to a point where I could say, “Yes, I am cancer free. Yet is here and now,” sustained me. The odd thing was, I was the hopeful one with the diagnosis. I chronicled this journey and want to share it.
SO…I am writing to put it out there. I want to speak, write, and share my story (which mirrors a three ring circus at any point in time as well!!) with any group who will have me. I will share the Cancer Can affirmations with anyone who wants to shift their fixed mindset to a growth mindset, and see the possibility of YET.
What’s my perfect world? Publishing the Cancer Can affirmations in cards, notepads, books…all the bling. Branding Cancer Thriver and starting networks all over the world where Cancer Thrivers meet, meditate on the Cancer Can affirmations together, share their stories using a protocol I designed that includes music, improvisational games, and laughter. I want to speak all around the country, and get paid to share my story of hope, inspiration, and joy in the midst of the storms that continue to allow me to THRIVE, not just survive.
Make no mistake…I still feel pain. I wake up some days and can barely move my left leg that has nerve damage. My feet tingle after a long day because the lower three discs in my back are disintegrated from radiation. I walk around in pain every day, but I refuse to let it limit me.
I keep moving forward…THRIVING. This weekend I canoed, kayaked and swam on the lake. I toe touched (ouch!) off the end of the dock and jumped in with the dog after she decided to swim to fatigue toward my canoe! I THRIVE because my mind an heart leap when my body fails me, and I focus on the possibility of getting there, and the possibility of “not yet” but someday.
I dare to dream. I dare others to THRIVE and EXCLAIM that our lives beyond cancer know no bounds, except those by which we chose to chain ourselves.
So, I want to speak it, sing it, laugh it, exclaim it that Cancer Thriving is a mindset. I am available immediately for speaking engagements. These seminars are not passive, receptive non-sense. Participants will only get out of the “I AM A THRIVER!” event what they are willing to put into it. It is fully participatory, hands-on, minds-on, heart-on!! (Note to your inner editor that I have used several exclamations!! And, I am not so sure that the participants need to have a cancer diagnosis. They might have another physical or mental health diagnosis that could, if allowed, begin the person to think they might be limited.
I am a Thriver. I invite others to Thrive On with me, and share their stories with me at cancerthriver1@gmail.com.
I am working on the website which should be up by the first of August. I need help with that, so I am asking for that help as well.
SUMMARIZE, SUMMARIZE…
“We are Cancer Thrivers…not just survivors.” KKMains
“Cancer Can…push you beyond the limitations of surviving to THRIVING.” KKMains
I want to speak, write, and share my Thriver’s Story with others.
I want others to share their Thriver’s Stories with me.
I need help with the website.
I need a publisher willing to publish my Cancer Thriver story and Cancer Can affirmations (there are currently 11 in my journey so far).
Is that enough?
Your family is a beautiful circus of clowns and we are blessed by your presence in this universe.
Thanks for starting this movement, and thanks for all the good work you do! (exclamation point)
KKMains*
*formerly known as “The Kindermusik Lady” of Eastwood Christian