I live in Nashville,TN, otherwise known as the buckle of the Bible Belt. I haven’t done the research, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that we have more churches per capita than any other place in the country. I pass four churches just going to Walgreens and Walgreens is ONE MILE from my house. When you move into a new neighborhood, one of the first questions your neighbors will ask is “Do you have a home church, yet?” It’s a very Christian kind of place. Kind of.
Recently, two children were denied admission, nay, denied even a tour of a local private Christian school, because their parents are gay.
Why, you may wonder, would two gay men even try to send their children to a Christian school? What did they expect?
Answer: One of the fathers is a PASTOR. And they expected that a school that professes to have the same beliefs that they do would welcome two new students and provide them an excellent Christian education. These men are BRAVE in their faith, people.
See, somehow, they actually think that the message of Christ is one of inclusion and love. They actually BELIEVE that God’s love is for everyone. Even tax collectors. Even whores. Even murderers. Even gay people. Gasp.
Now, I could have told you what was going to happen. Isn’t it obvious? Look around. Who are those people screaming the loudest that homosexuality is a choice, and further, a sinful choice? Who are those people carrying signs with lovely slogans like, “God hates Fags?” and marching en masse in front of courthouses to make sure their heterosexual marriages are not threatened by a gay man or a lesbian? Christians, people. Duh.
Maybe. Who am I to say?
But they aren’t the only Christians. Those two fathers – they are Christians too. And me? Yeah, I guess me too. I love me some Jesus. It’s some of his followers I’m iffy on. It took me a LONG time to come around to this. I kept seeing all these assholes calling themselves Christians, all these people forking over money for symbolic cemeteries for aborted babies and simultaneously demanding that Food Stamp benefits for hungry children were too high. All these people raising millions of dollars to build huge churches, then ushering the homeless out of their services on Sunday because they made the membership feel uncomfortable. All these people praising God for their blessings and never stopping to bless anyone else. All these people I wanted NOTHING to do with. I wouldn’t call myself Christian because I didn’t want to be guilty by association.
I see all these things, and you know what? Those fathers see all these things too. And worse, I’m sure. Much worse. But faith is “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1) And this is where I call those men heroes. Heroes of their faith. They see the hatred and bigotry and discrimination, and just plain meanness, and they choose to believe in something higher. They choose to say, “God is MY God too. You don’t own him. Jesus loves ME too. You can’t tell me he doesn’t. The church is MY church every bit as much as it is your church, and I.WANT.IT.BACK.”
And that school? Davidson Academy? Who cares?
They can do whatever they want. It’s a free country. Nobody is suing anybody. If they want to practice a faith of exclusion, if they want to shut the door in the face of the people Jesus loves, the whores, the tax collectors, the murderers, the gays, the shouting mamas, the bad tippers… so be it.
Mr. Edwin Markham pretty much sums it up in his tiny poem, “Outwitted”.
He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in.
Amen!!!!!!
Love this! Amen!!
wow! Thank you Jen!
Always, Brad.
I am so proud of you Jen! I have so often questioned how people can “call” themselves Christian while spewing hate. There are many things in life I don’t agree with, might not even like or admire, but I was taught hate the sin, not the SINNER. To love each other is the true message of Jesus. And to treat each other with love, compassion and as we would like to be treated is the foundation of a happy fulfilled life.
I am so proud to know you…I remember having religious conversations with you and always feeling great knowing I wasn’t the only one that felt this way…
Not by far, Jen. It’s just if we remain silent we can certainly make it seem that way to others.
Amen!
I love your blog, Jen. Your voice comes through very clearly.
I will push back ever so slightly on this sentiment though: “They can do whatever they want. It’s a free country.” Any business in these United States is required to serve all customers without regard to race, creed, etc. While sexual orientation is not among these requirements, it should be. Further, not only are they’re exempt from paying taxes, donations to them reduce the taxable income of the donors. The public considers their mission sufficiently valuable to underwrite their operations accordingly; this puts them under a particular obligation to the public which I, for one, feel they are flouting by these hateful restrictions.
Thank you for putting into words what so many of us have been feeling in our hearts.
Nice reminders Jen. Thank you.
Thank you for this post!
I love this! Thank you for saying what so many people feel.
Well said, I am a Jew and have always not understood the hypocrisy of preaching G-d’s love, but only if you are exactly like me
Love love love this. Love.
Incredible! I’ve felt this way for so long. Afraid to associate myself with fellow Christians because of their hatred and bigotry. But it’s the kind, living, selfless ones that keep me faithful. Thank you for writing this.
Amen! I wish I had written this because it is exactly my thoughts! Love God and Love (all) people. I shared it on Facebook, the least I can do. Life is too short to mistreat others!!!
to you I say, “thank you!”
I really struggle with this to be honest. First of all I don’t hate anyone and church should welcome anyone who feels the pull or wants to go.(it really isn’t for me right now and I don’t know if it will be again ever to be honest. I was made to go as a young preteen and teen which put me off really)
However I remember learning about the bible and what it said about men who sleep with men and women who sleep with women and that being a sin. I read it and know that is what it says. It also calls out like you said about adulatory and all the other sins but it also says you can’t ask forgiveness and keep sinning over and over. So while I don’t have a problem with people being gay or going to church I don’t think you are born that way or that it is ok in the eyes of God or Jesus or whoever. That isn’t for other people to judge though. Anyway I am a walking conflict so just ignore me.
I agree with you. We need to minister to the person, but call sin a sin. I think the true folloewr of Jesus gets this. I think the line is becoming very blurred especially when you now have pastors that are gay. We are to judge right from wrong, the bible is clear. What was the purpose of repentance and Jesus dying for our sins? To turn the sinner from his sin and to the Lord. We can be loving and tell them the truth at the same time. The ones who hold hatred with those signs that say God hates fags is not God’s heart. I would have prayed about what to do about the two men, but probably would have let them in. I could not let them have a place of leadership there though, because of the unprofessed sin. My take on this.
I appreciate you being brave enough to be part of the conversation.
That said, I suppose we will have to agree to disagree. Homosexuality as we know it today (2 people of the same sex in a loving relationship) wasn’t even a thing in biblical times. It probably happened, but no one discussed it. The “sin” that the bible refers to is more akin to an orgy than what we are discussing here. There’s TONS of research about this.
However, I digress…
My point is that discussion of sin and sinners distracts us from the message of Jesus which is, unequivocally: love one another, do good, help the least of these. I have no truth to offer but this.
Thank you for this. And that poem, it needs to be the anthem of those who mean “love” when they say “God.” ❤️
Just found your blog and have enjoyed reading through it. This post is so well written and is exactly how I feel. I was very involved in church or “Christian” activities that were supposedly preaching God’s love in the past. Unfortunately, the more involved I got, the more exclusions I became aware of. These not only included gay people, but also special needs adults, ex convicts and homeless people. I don’t understand how a church can turn away ANYONE! Bless you for this post!